((xlilcurlyqx)) OneXone moved: "Tales of Trite"

[Sparrow]

((This is a RP that has been moved from Neopets for reasons of it being Neopets word filter blocking common words))

A cashier jumps up from behind the desk. Staring past the two of them to read his lines.
"Welcome to Coffee Hut, my name is Thecoffestoreguy, how may I help you today?" he asks quickly.
"You got any coffee? I need to refill that van out there." Thatoneguy says.
"De-cafe or regular?" Thecoffeestoreguy asks.
"Regular, we're on the run." Thatoneguy replies.
"Thevantheifguy, go fill up the van with regular!" Thecoffestoreguy calls over.
A shady looking man looks over, "Yes sir." he says darkly then runs outside.
"Anything else?" Thecoffeestoreguy asks.

[xlilcurlyqx]

Whatshername watches the shady guy heading towards the van.
"hmm he looks suspicious, I bet he used decaf" she thinks.
Squinting at the sign behind thecoffeestoreguy she looks at all the different beverages offered.
"I'll have a roast please, I left mine at home" she says.
"But make it to go because we are on the run...from the UPS! and old ladies in bugs...." she shouts at him.

[Sparrow]

“The UPS!?” Thecoffeestoreguy shouts.
Then seeming to completely forget about UPS he darts a look to Whatshername.
“A roast?” he asks quickly.
The camera switches to show them on different screens several times increasing in speed with dramatic music.
“You mean like...” he says slowly, the music pauses.
“This?” he says happily, pointing at a roast on the counter that wasn’t there in the previous shot.
Suddenly the revving of an engine is heard.
Thatoneguy turns to the window dramatically.
“What could that be?” he asks simply.
The van speeds off down the road.
“Who could have done this?” he asks shocked, but the camera shows that he’s directing the question to an “Out of Order” sign on a Dr.Risk soda machine.

[xlilcurlyqx]

whatshername squeals happily as she spots the roast on the counter!
"That is just like the one in the oven, I hope its ok"
whatshername pauses to think about the roast and a picture comes up of her house on fire.
"I'm sure its fine!"
she watches as the van speeds off down the road and recognizes the person behind the wheel.
whatshername gasps dramatically and shields her face with her arm.
"I know who did it!!"
she cries out as the music increases and lights begin to flash behind her.
"It was..."
The music reaches its climax
"My evil twin sister!!" she says "whosherface..."
and a scream is heard in the distance.

[Sparrow]

“Whosherface!?” Thatoneguy says dramatically, spinning to the camera, however he slips and falls on the turnaround but the scene is cut to them standing outside.
A tumbleweed rolls past.
“What are we to do now?” Thatoneguy says after being nudged by Thecoffeestoreguy to say his line.
The camera focuses in on Thecoffeestoreguy, the sun shining behind him for effect.
“I may have a solution.” he says dramatically, pointing his finger to the sky.
With that he runs off screen, Thatoneguy follows soon after.
They reach a huge red barn.
“OMG... It’s an IHOP.” Thatoneguy says, spreading his hands over his head to make his point.
*A whinny is heard*
“Come on in.” Thecoffeestoreguy shouts.
Thatoneguy enters the dark barn.
“I sense that a ghost is near by.” Thatoneguy says darkly, a light below causes dramatic effect.

[xlilcurlyqx]

whatshername follows thatoneguy towards the red barn, still holding the roast in her hands.
she looks at thatoneguy and shakes her head. "OF course thats not an IHOP, its obviously a Pizza Hut don't you see the red!!"
*a whinny is heard*
"A g-g-ghost?!" she shouts dramatically, suddenly unsteady on her feet.
She falls against thatoneguy while somehow still managing not to drop the roast.
"OH my, I didn't know this place was haunted...." the music increases
my.... father was a ghost!" she trails off and the scene cuts to a flashback of christmastime in her family while everyone is laughing and opening presents.
The scene cuts back and whatshername miraciously jumps up, fully recovered.

[Sparrow]

Thatoneguy looks over to Whatshername with a sad expression.
“My....Second cousin was a ghost...” he says as the screen blurs to show a flashback.
A younger version of him and his cousin are seen waiting for an elevator. His cousin looks over to him. *the music plays slowly, as is something terrible is about to happen*
“Guess what, I’m a ghost.” he says pointing a finger at himself.
The screen blurs back to normal.
Suddenly Thecoffeestoreguy pops up out of nowhere.
“BOO!” he shouts randomly.
“Come over here.” he says quickly leading them to a stall.
“We have found the ghost...” Thatoneguy says darkly as the lighting grows dim.
Inside the stall are various colored horses with product placement ads printed on them.
“Wow camels.” Thatoneguy says leaning to look in the stall.
“Now be warned, some of these horses WILL try to kill and or sue you. Good luck.” Thecoffeestoreguy says quickly before forcing the two into the stall.

[xlilcurlyqx]

whatshername looks at the horses and squeals in delight.
"These are such pretty giraffes! Which one should I take?" she asks looking at the different ads.
Suddenly a heavenly chorus begins to sing and a light from the sky shines down on the perfect horse. "Oh my, I think I know which one I will take" She says.
The music increases and the other horses move out of the way leaving a direct path to the horse glowing in the light.
"I had a giraffe like you once when I was a little girl" She says stepping towards the horse.
The screen blurs to a scene from her childhood showing her riding on the pet pig with a cowgirl hat. "yeehaw! run horsey run!" before the pig has a heartattack. The scene flashes back to the present as whatshername wipes a tear from her eye.

[Sparrow]

That one guy watches the horses carefully as he passes them. Suddenly he sees a black and red horse with a Dr.Risk add on it.
“I think I found the right one.” he says cheerfully as he walks over.
Thecoffeestoreguy snickers to himself.
The horse turns a glare to him and bats at the ground with its hooves as a warning. Thatoneguy pauses,
“Aw, come here little horsy.” he says putting his hand out to lure it over.
With that the horse charges at Thatoneguy.
“Whoa, horsy.” Thatoneguy says quickly, then realizes the horse is after him.
He runs and hurtles over the stall gate; the horse jumps the fence with ease. Thatoneguy glances back and sees the horse is still after him; quickly he runs out the barn, shuts the door, and holds it shut. Moments later the horse jumps out of the second floor window and the chase continues.

[xlilcurlyqx]

whatshername watches the horse chase thatoneguy with little interest. She is still staring at the horse from her childhood.
"I knew you would be perfect" she says while stil lhumming along with the angelic choir. Shielding her eyes from the spotlight she squints behind the horse and reads her lines. "oh, I guess I should be worried about thatoneguy after all" Quickly springing into action she jumps on her horse and rides after that oneguy as heroic music starts playing in the backroung. Checking the cheat lines on her hand she shouts "have no fear, whatshername is here!" Checking her hand again she scoffs. "I really think we need to hire a new writer.."

[Sparrow]

Thatoneguy continues to run from the enraged horse.
“What did I do to deserve this!?” he shouts at the sky.
A flashback shows him in kindergarten making a macaroni picture of a poorly drawn horse, the flashback ends.
“T-that doesn’t make any sense!” he shouts at the sky again.
The flashback replies but this time pauses, Thatoneguy steps onto the screen.
“Okay what? What is it?” he snaps.
The camera zooms onto the paste container his kindergarten self holds; It reads,
“Made with love and horses hooves”
Thatoneguy stares at the screen,
“Oh now I see it.... I used too much paste...”
He looks over and runs off screen as the horse bursts into the scene causing the flashback film to rip and vanish.
Thatoneguy looks to see Whatshername coming to his rescue.
“OMG This song is so over used...” he says lowly.

[xlilcurlyqx]

whatshername reaches out an arm to thatoneguy and pulls him aboard the horse.
"Shut up, I'm not the one who picks this music" she whispers to him and then looks around in case someone heard her.
In the distance thunder rumbles and lightning starts to move towards them.
"Uhhh, I mean this is the most wonderful music that is perfect for our chase scene! We couldn't ask for anything better!" She shouts at the sky.
The thunder and lightning receded in a flash and out came the sun. Birds chirped pleasantly and all was well.
They galloped across the feild and the scene changes from day to night and then back to day a couple times before they end up right back where they started.
whatshername looks around confused.
"I think we just time traveled..."

[Sparrow]

Thatoneguy hops off the horse,
“I think your right.” he says slipping on the sentence.
He walks backwards changing the scene to night, then forward changing back to day.
After several more flips he glares at the sky,
“Okay enough with the time lapses!”
Suddenly he’s struck by lightning through the clear sky. After several seconds he weakly stands up blacked out cartoon style with ash from the strike.
“Hey! My contract said nothing about lightning! I have rights, you can’t just order me around like”
A sharp earthquake followed by a shrill cry interrupts him.
He puts his hands up in an unthreatening way.
“I-I mean, tell me where to go and what to say all powerful Mr. director sir.”
The earthquake ceases; a neon arrow lights up, directing them towards an old west styled town in the far distance.
Thatoneguy bows slightly,
“Right away Mr. director sir.” he says quickly.
He hops back on the horse then whispers to Whatshername,
“How long do you have left in your contract? I got signed for the entirety of the show.”

[xlilcurlyqx]

whatshername looked at the sky before answering thatoneguy.
"they've got me for the entire show too, we've sure got our work cut out for us."
A suspicious boom sounded in the distance and whatshername quickly reiterated.
"Don't worry thatoneguy, this show is magnificent, and our director is oh so creative. I'm so glad to be working here!"
Following the neon arrow towards the town whatshername wondered out loud what would happen once they got there.
"I wonder what will happen once we get there?"

[Sparrow]

Thatoneguy nervously looks at the sky, half expecting lightning. Instead he sees writing in the sky that reads: ‘Rhyme’.
He blinks panicky, then looks back to the town.
“I do not know, This is so.” he says after a moment.
He nudges Whatshername to look at the sky.
Suddenly a man wearing a paper cowboy hat jumps out in front of the horse. He aims a squirt gun at them,
“Okay this is a up hold.” he says gruffly.
Thatoneguy cocks his head,
“Hold up?” he says.
“What?” the man asks in a nerdy tone.
“Don’t you mean hold up?”
“...Oh yes, thanks.”
“No problem.” Thatoneguy nods.
“Okay this is a hold up!” the man repeats.