Post by Dimentio on Feb 10, 2012 10:49:05 GMT -5
I feel...bad? I am not sure how to describe this. This post may become a jumble of thoughts that flow rather poorly. Forgive me if it becomes incomprehensible.
It is a crushing sensation. Weighing down upon me, all encompassing. I am unsure as to what it's origins are...but never the less, so it is.
I am not even certain as to what it is. But I...I do not like it. This...feeling. It frightens me. It is a despair that I am ill-aquatinted with. I know sadness. I know hatred. I know what it feels to suffer pain. And for that reason, I cut myself off from feeling. I...I am the supreme engine of logic. I seek and desire only truth and justice.
And yet, this feeling persists! It grows in the dark corners of my mind, ever present, ever damning to my soul! Oh, how it haunts me, never ceasing, never granting me a moments pardon. Shunned, but never banished. Hidden, but never gone. What am I, to feel this nagging at the fabric of my soul?
I feel...I feel...
I feel?
But why? Why do I feel? I cannot pinpoint the reason behind this...unnatural feeling.
...
If the origin is not an outside factor...then perhaps it comes from within? But why?
This feeling...this feeling of despair... despair unlike what I have felt...I have made it?
But how can that be? I feel despair...and disgust...for myself? But...why? I hate my feeling. I hate myself.
...
...I hate myself?
I hate myself. I...I feel...I feel bad...because I hate myself. I feel bad for who I am.
WHAT?
But how? Why? I...I am not bad. I seek truth and justice! I seek to support those surrounding me, and condemn those who are deserving of damnation. I am the engine of logic. I am beyond humanity. I am beyond good and bad. I am simply logic.
I...I'm not a bad person...I'm not a bad person! I'm not!!
But...why do I feel like I am?
I...am I a bad person? I feel this so intensely...I feel so awful. So disgusting and cruel. So alone. So monstrous. I only bring suffering. I only cause pain. I only inflict woe and despair upon those around me.
I'm a horrible person...what have I become...
I am the supreme engine of logic...
I am the darkness inhabiting the shadowed corners of your mind...
What have I become...
What have I become...
It is a crushing sensation. Weighing down upon me, all encompassing. I am unsure as to what it's origins are...but never the less, so it is.
I am not even certain as to what it is. But I...I do not like it. This...feeling. It frightens me. It is a despair that I am ill-aquatinted with. I know sadness. I know hatred. I know what it feels to suffer pain. And for that reason, I cut myself off from feeling. I...I am the supreme engine of logic. I seek and desire only truth and justice.
And yet, this feeling persists! It grows in the dark corners of my mind, ever present, ever damning to my soul! Oh, how it haunts me, never ceasing, never granting me a moments pardon. Shunned, but never banished. Hidden, but never gone. What am I, to feel this nagging at the fabric of my soul?
I feel...I feel...
I feel?
But why? Why do I feel? I cannot pinpoint the reason behind this...unnatural feeling.
...
If the origin is not an outside factor...then perhaps it comes from within? But why?
This feeling...this feeling of despair... despair unlike what I have felt...I have made it?
But how can that be? I feel despair...and disgust...for myself? But...why? I hate my feeling. I hate myself.
...
...I hate myself?
I hate myself. I...I feel...I feel bad...because I hate myself. I feel bad for who I am.
WHAT?
But how? Why? I...I am not bad. I seek truth and justice! I seek to support those surrounding me, and condemn those who are deserving of damnation. I am the engine of logic. I am beyond humanity. I am beyond good and bad. I am simply logic.
I...I'm not a bad person...I'm not a bad person! I'm not!!
But...why do I feel like I am?
I...am I a bad person? I feel this so intensely...I feel so awful. So disgusting and cruel. So alone. So monstrous. I only bring suffering. I only cause pain. I only inflict woe and despair upon those around me.
I'm a horrible person...what have I become...
I am the supreme engine of logic...
I am the darkness inhabiting the shadowed corners of your mind...
What have I become...
What have I become...
