Quote Thread!

[Raven]

((In the hallway at school))
Elijah: Dude, he just pantsed me!
Mr. Dutson: Alan, I wouldn't be surprised by you taking another man's pants OFF but I never thought I'd see you putting another man's pants back ON
Elijah: Yeah, that's just gay.

((In Spanish))
Brock: comer food, I want to eat you.

[Gifted]

((While me and Sparrow were chatplaying))

"Soap Opera much?
SPIN OFF SHOW! Alfreds stoy: My Friend the Retarded Alien Oil Blob."

-Gifted laughing at an evil alien thing crying for no reason, April 30th, 2011

[Raven]

((At the Japanese culture fest))
Euphie: *to Lelouch* I overheard some girls talking about stalking Lelouch, be careful
Me: *behind Lelouch, raises hand* I for one, approve of stalking Lelouch.

Fox: Raaven get back here before you get taken and molested~!
Raven: Haha, I won't be taken and molested. I have Kenny to protect me!
actually.... *runs back to Fox*

[FoxTrott]

"Rhyme stepped back at God's sudden interruption."
-Drug Resistant thread, at Sar's request

[Gifted]

*gifted listening to a comercial while camping*
"Did they just say kiddie corner from the crackheads?"
-"That's what I heard, too"-
"*mocking voice* hey y'know that crackhead Billy who hangs around on the street? Kiddy corner from him"

-Me and my mom, June 4th, 2011
-Shane-

[Dokeshi]

*posted a softcore yaoi pic on c-box*
Diz: "I like the black hard guy"
Diz: "wait"
Diz: "*haired"

Later that night talking about eggs
Dizofosaka: LAY ME CROW

[Gifted]

-"twss"-
"Who is "She" and why does she say such dirty things?"
"She is your mother, and because she was born that way."

-Fug getting pwned by suki
June 13th, 2011
-Gifted-

[FoxTrott]

Katie: ... why does the script say "no quesadillas for Katie"?
Me: Uh.

~~~

[Gifted]

"It wasn't those kinds of nuts I ate, I swear o.o"
"XD bad time to walk into a convo"

-Gifted walks into Ravens conversation, June 20th, 2011

[Dokeshi]

On the c-box she said this to me

SuperDarkAngel1: I will eat you in both ways, perv!!
..what's this I don't even

[FoxTrott]

Fox: Quick! Name a big scary Pokemon other than Charizard!

Diz: DILDO

wait....

OOPS

[FoxTrott]

TEXT DUMP INCOMING

First, a few from the first session of my game, heavily paraphrased:

I had to think of a quick way to get Syra noticed. She was at a tavern, while MonoSai, a guard, was patroling the streets. I glance at the Foosball table next to our gaming table.

Me: All right. Syra, you’re playing medieval foosball with this dwarf--
Raven and Sarah: *laughter*
*Raven proceeds to walk over to the foosball table, assuming a serious stance*

~~~

I’m trying to draw a map of the area.

Me: *doodles city on whiteboard* Okay. *gives marker to Syd* This is where you guys are.
Raven: *puts ‘Us’ on whiteboard*
Me: This is where the Black Dragon Society is.
Raven: *puts ‘Them’ on whiteboard*
….
*proceeds to label everywhere else using pronouns*

~~~~

I’ve introduced Syd and Sarah to my favorite NPC of all time, Kurik. He was described as “can flirt with a rock and get away with it”. I’m leaving it at that. Kurik has developed an intimite interest in MonoSai.

*while discussing who they are*
Syra: At least I don’t embarrass my species as much as that. *points to MonoSai*
MonoSai: Monkeys and rabbits loop the loop~!

That’s become a running gag, and the first two lines of Animal Crackers has become a greeting between Raven, Sarah, and I.

~~~

MonoSai: It’s because of gravitational centrifical imaginition!

~~~

Me: While charging drunkenly after Syra, MonoSai, you run straight into a tree.
….
Upon further inspection, you notice the tree is Kurik-shaped.


I have no idea where I was going with that.

~~~

Sarah: *looks at Syra’s character sheet* … How’d you get your hit points back?
Raven: I slept.

~~~

Me: And so, MonoSai is dragged off cheering to Kurik’s room while Syra sleeps on the table. That’s a good end to the session.

~~~


Sarah: Why is there a rooster on my character sheet?
Me: Because I get bored, mmkay?

~~~

Kurik gave Syra and MonoSai a special, whispering coin.


Raven: *scribbles on character sheet*
…
Check out my inventory! ‘Coin of me.’

~~~~

Me: *mimics coin* Syra… Syra… They killed them, Syra…

I couldn’t believe how stupid I sounded.

~~~

… At school a couple of days after the first session.

Me: Here, check out this description of an NPC.
…
Raven: Oo;!
Me: What!
Raven: Oh. I looked at the page and the first thing I saw was “flowing brown pants.”

Running gag between us now.





Now, from our sessions:

DM is describing a scene.
Me: You used hence, like, 15 times.
Nate: *looks up* We were supposed to be listening to you?



Bradley is making small talk with the DM's sister.
Bradley: So, what class are you?
Sister: Uhh, Spanish.


We're trying to start the session.
Bradley: Let's just start rolling d20s like mad people.


Nate's in a drinking contest.
ate: How long does it take not to be slap happy?


Talking about a food eating contest.
Nate: So how do you win the food eating contest? Be the most obese?
Bradley: Nate wins.


Describing a friend's character.
DM: Jeannie's character can change into any M-size humanoid--
Nate: --except Chuck Norris.


Bradley's ticked off at Nate.
Bradley: I'm suing you for all your items, and 10 intelligence!


We're in a capture the flag game.
Bradley: I go for flag number middle.
Nate: You mean letter middle.


Nate's playing with a dolphin puppet that looks like its eating his face.
Sarah: Is that eating you or is it making out with you?
Nate: It's eating my braaains.


DM's trying to talk everybody into getting slaves.
Nate: How many slaves can I have?
DM: Depends. How will you hold them?
Nate: Like, tie them to my waist.


DM's looking up an NPC description.
DM: Just curious, what does court mean?
Me: Seduce. Flirt. Fall in love with.
Raven: It's also a walled area.
Nate: It's also a measurement of liquid!

Bradley grabbed my previous character's head after she was executed, and has it in his bag of holding.
Bradley: If any girl gets close to me, *makes motion of pulling something out of a sack* "Would you like to see what happened to my last girlfriend...?"

DM pulled out the Forgotten Realms map.
Raven: *points to island* What's there?
DM: Disease.

~~~~~~~

Mathew's Mom: You know, when I used to be a waitress, we'd see old couples sharing glasses. So you guys remind me of old couples.
Sam: Give me my glasses back, Now.

Fox: What's a Shadar-kai?
Sam: They're flippin' amazing!

*arguing*
Sam: Hey Mathew, I think you're right. I like magic items.

Holly: What's the fun of explosives if there's not alot of them?

Alex(aka Nate): I don't know, just a dwarf and his dwarven idiots.



Fox: I pity your throat



Brad: His calves are HUGE!

[Gifted]

"I need a romance movie title that hasn't been taken!"
"Date Rape"

-Crow's answer to Raven, July 11th, 2011

[Gifted]

-During a character development thing-

Scott: I'd sell it, piece by piece, and become like Donald Trump. STOP LAUGHING AT MEEEE
Tammy: *laughs at Scott*
Scott: D<
Tammy: *laughs at Scott*
Scott: -clenches his fists-
Tammy: *laughs at Scott*
Scott: Patience patience patience patience patience!
Tammy: *laughs at Scott*
Scott: TEMPERANCE PATIENCE HUMILITY CHASTITY GENEROSITY ZEAL KINDNESS
Tammy: *laughs at Scott*
Scott: FUCK TEMPERANCE -punches Tammy-

-Oh, it's fun pissing off an angel July 14th, 2011

Ryu: and you're the one who THREW ME ON IT
Rhyme: BUT YOU STILL BROKE THE DAMN TABLE WITH YOUR GIANT BOOBS
Rhyme: If you didn't have fucking watermelons on your chest you wouldn't have broken it D<

-July 14th, 2011

[FoxTrott]

Ravenxisxhere: so chocolate really is an orgasm in your mouth

~~~

Gifted: Is anyone gonna bother replying if I revive DL?
Fox: DL?
Diz: Danger Lesbian
the greatest adventeurer
ever